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Wednesday, February 6, 2013

How to make delicious Alpha Centauri bread.

How to make delicious Alpha Centauri bread.

2 and 3/4 cups flour
1 and 1/2 tablespoons sugar
2 and 1/4 teaspoons dry active yeast
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup milk
1 tablespoon butter
food coloring
some oil
some shortening

First turn your oven on to 200 degrees, then get two bowls, one big, and one ceramic. like so-

in the ceramic bowl mix
1/2 cup water
1/4 cup milk
1 tablespoon butter
1 and 1/4 tablespoons sugar
1 teaspoon salt

Stick the bowl in the oven, but keep an eye on it. you're not cooking it, just melting the butter.

Meanwhile, in the big bowl-
1/4 cup water
2 and 1/4 teaspoons yeast
1/2 teaspoon sugar

when the butter in the ceramic bowl looks melty, it's ready.

when there is a creamy foam on top, in the big bowl, it's ready. Turn oven off, and leave it open to cool down.

When both bowls are ready, mix them together.

Add some food coloring.
I used about 15 drops of green and 3 yellow.

Dump 2 cups of flour right in and start mixing it up.
Once it becomes a single uniform mass like this-

start adding in the remaining flour about 1/4 cup at a time.
stir it and cut it with your spoon, absorbing all the loose flour.
It should start looking like a lot of stringy chunks, like this.

when you've added all the flour, reach in and grab it, and mash it all together.
Knead it for about 5 minutes, until it's an elastic ball.

Wipe out the big bowl and put some oil in, just enough to coat the sides. I use olive oil.
Stick the dough ball in and make sure it gets nice and oily too.
Cover it with a towel, and spray it with a squirt bottle if you have one, if not you can figure something out.
It just need to be a nice humid environment.

Hopefully your oven has cooled off enough by now, it should be about 90 or 100 degrees.
Stick the bowl in the oven and let it rise until it has doubled in size. -about 10 or 15 minutes.

When it has doubled in size get it out and punch it down Hai-Ya!

Get it out on the counter and spread it out. You don't need to use a roller, it doesn't need to be perfect.

Snip some of the dough off to make the arms, eye and skirt. set it aside.

Roll the rest up into a nasty little grub.

Get some vegetable shortening and give your bread pan the business.

Put the grub in the pan, cover it and stick it in the oven.
Let it rise until it's doubled in size again.

Get a roller and flatten out the leftovers.
cut them up into shapes to make Alpha Centauri's arms, eye and skirt.

When the dough has risen again, get it out, give it a squirt of water. Stick the little pieces on.
you might stab/stitch them on with a wet toothpick to help them stay on.

Preheat your oven to 400 degrees.

Put Alpha in for 15 or 20 minutes

and voila!